I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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