Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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