Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
