You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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