love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
