I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Randomize
