dude i'm inner monologue high
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
we're making bets on your personal life
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I want to fling myself into the sun
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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