Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
