Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
