Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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