My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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