I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
