how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Two words: nipple clamps
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