So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
