Dual....:-)
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
