Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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