bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
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