Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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