Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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