shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
