So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Randomize
