the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize