Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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