im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
