The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
