I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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