So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
