you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
try to milk me bitch
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