I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Even my vagina gasped.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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