it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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