i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity