You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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