ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.