We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
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You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
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Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way