I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize