my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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