i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
