Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
