sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
