Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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