Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
