the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
