i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
