I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I would fuck him just for his dog
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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