You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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