I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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