Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
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