I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
