so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
