He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
