Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
