Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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