Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
