Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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