kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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