i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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