His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
