Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
