well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
