When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
