what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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