Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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