I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
