Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
