He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
