i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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